Many methods of psychotherapy exist, with diverse theoretical understandings of the human personality and of what constitutes mental health.  For many people, the term "therapy" carries with it an association of illness and impairment, since it is used in the medical context (as in chemotherapy and physical therapy). Therefore, they think seeking psychotherapy is an admittal of being ‘sick’ or ‘unbalanced’ in some way.

Many times, people act without realizing what makes them feel compelled to do so. For example, John may have had a dissatisfying conversation with his friend Joe, finding him to be distracted and unsympathetic, and then gone to the fridge to look for something to eat, even though he had just finished his dinner.

If John were aware of his emotions and physical sensations, he might find that he is feeling the emotion of sadness, but actually experiencing a feeling of fullness in his stomach. This awareness would help John make a more appropriate choice for his organism, such as seeking a way to release his sadness, for instance by expressing it to a supportive person. If no supportive person were available, John could internally understand and accept his own sadness. He might then choose to soothe himself by taking a hot bath, or he might choose to release energy by engaging in a physical activity, such as running or dancing. There is no one ‘correct’ way to handle a situation. When a person is aware of what he feels and needs, he will find what‘s best for him under the circumstances.

Let’s say that John’s mother says: "Go see a movie, you’ll feel better!" and John obediently goes to a movie. He may feel better after seeing a comedy, or may decide that his problem is insignificant after seeing a movie about a war or natural disaster. Another possibility is that he may find himself unable to get into the movie. If he is aware of his experience, he may realize that this movie isn’t what he needs, and decide to leave before the end of the movie, and do something else.

John’s state of mind will, most likely, have an effect on the way he interacts with the people he comes into contact with. If he is still feeling sad and disappointed but is unaware of what caused it, he may withdraw from others, feel lethargic or something of the sort. This, in turn, may cause his girlfriend to wonder why he isn’t his usual lively self, and she may think it is due to the fact that she didn’t have time to prepare a good meal or, perhaps, to the fact that they’ve been together a long time and he doesn’t find her company so exciting. (As you see, things can get unnecessarily complicated.)      

When we are aware of our internal process, we can communicate more effectively, first of all with ourselves. John can communicate consciously to himself: "I feel very disappointed and sad that Joe was so unsympathetic when I was telling him how my boss put me down in front of my co-workers at the meeting. I will tell him, at an appropriate time, how I feel".

John may tell his girlfriend: "I’m not in such a good mood tonight". When she asks why, he’ll have an opportunity to tell her and hopefully get her support. This will also save her from trying to guess why, and from  attributing his lack of enthusiasm to some imagined shortcoming of her own.

The above is a short and relatively simple example of how awareness, or the lack thereof, can play out in daily life. However, when people are unaware, they usually accumulate "heaps" of interactions that affect their lives and the lives of those they come into contact with, and create a tangled web of actions and reactions.

If one is unaware, how does one go about gaining awareness? The way we learn is through practice. In a Gestalt therapy session, the therapist serves as an awareness coach, and gently assists the client by asking questions or setting up experiments that direct their attention to their experience in the moment. Through the therapist’s training and experience, they have become more sensitive to their own internal process and can help their client regain access to her or his own.

Gestalt therapy can be an invaluable tool in gaining the ability to monitor ourselves in "real time", thus having more internal clarity about our motives and desires. This allows us to make choices that are more in line with our deeper needs, and are more likely to bring about their  fulfillment. Gradually, we can transition from feeling ‘acted upon’ by life’s circumstances, to feeling that we have greater power to create our own reality and be active participants in the great dance of life.